A Constant and Painful Reminder
July 4th, 2007 at 4:55 amMailing List Registration, Please Click Here
Emotional plea by a Jewish youth in Lebanon, previously published by JOL.org
I am sitting a few minutes walking distance from the Maghen Abraham, writing this letter, but frankly I am at a loss for words. I am not sure what to say, or for that matter what to feel. The past few years have been a monumental struggle for me, a struggle for finding my identity, my roots, my past. My struggle might be unique in its details, but at its core it is all too common.
Perhaps you will not understand the feelings I am trying to convey. Perhaps words cannot do justice to these feelings to begin with. These feelings are better kept in one’s heart, but I have decided to attempt to at least give you a sense of the struggle that rages in me, even today, when I can safely say that I feel confident about my belonging and identity.
It pains me that I have not had the chance to experience the life that some of you in the audience might have experienced in the past in Lebanon. It pains me immensely that I have to pass by the Maghen Abraham every day without being able to enter, if only to view the destruction, to say a prayer (even though I do not know how to say prayers), to stand there and imagine and visualize what the 1940s, 50s, 60s were like. It pains me that some of you, in the audience, wish to deny that I - a Lebanese Jew - exist. That my family and friends exist. It pains me immensely that I have to keep my identity hidden in my own country, but also that I have to prove my Jewishness to you, my fellow Jews, my fellow countrymen and women. I do not consider myself or my family more Lebanese than you the Lebanese Jews in the audience, just because my family chose to stay in Lebanon. No, I do not espouse such elitist views, nor do I wish to impose labels on you. It is up to every individual to define and exert his or her identity based on his or her experiences and feelings. I might not know how to pray, and I might not have had the chance to go to shul / knis, but I am a product of the context and situation I was born into. I might not sound convincing, and I might not impress you with my words, but I seek neither to convince nor impress. And if it matters, I am writing this with tears in my eyes.
If you wish, you may choose to believe that I am not Jewish. You may choose to believe I am not Lebanese. You may choose to believe that I am your enemy in disguise. Go ahead and do it. But I ask you, if I am all these, so what? Is the wish to spread awareness and battle anti-Semitism, the wish to see renovated rather than destroyed Synagogues, the wish to see cemeteries taken care of, the wish to see a Jewish community living openly and being looked at as equals, an act of enmity? If all this is enmity, then I wonder, what does friendship look like? And if you would like, consider me an enemy - I have no objections, as long as you pay attention to these wishes, as long as you listen to those who have been able to reap your trust.
I have this much to say, and no more. I do not believe in throwing fancy words around, words that are void of real feelings and only scratch the surface of the struggle. I believe in expressing honest feelings, the reality of the struggle, the immense pain in my heart. The depth of this issue, its importance for me and my family, necessitate not an amalgamation of fancy words, but a reference to a set of realities that need to be addressed. In the end, I am but one person, ignore me if you will, but do not ignore the question, the issue, the problem, the “non-existent” Jewish community in Lebanon, or whatever else you want to call us.
Maghen Abraham is the symbol of our community. Every day I pass by it, I cannot help but assure myself that it will be the symbol of our renaissance. I wrote my thoughts and feelings in this letter as they came along, but I knew its conclusion from the very beginning. I cannot afford not to know it. For you, it might not be a reality you live with every day, but we are not blessed with that luxury. So I say, let the elderly revel in the nostalgia, but at least give our youth a chance to live it.
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tigermarks Said,
July 4, 2007 @ 5:23 pm
Thank you for the site. I am Lebanese and have always wished the Jewish community in Lebanon had a presence and was felt beyond deserted cemetaries and synagogues. I think there are many Lebanese who would be welcoming and inclusive of the Jewish community in Lebanon. I wish the best of luck and I will definitely be visiting this site often.
belle949 Said,
July 5, 2007 @ 5:57 am
Yes I agree with ur comment tigermarks. I am Lebanese Sunni.. I believe we are all one. The jews should have their rights in Lebanon. I love this site, it makes me feel as if I am connecting with every Lebanese voice for once. We all talk without fear. I hope through time things get better for everyone.
John Said,
July 5, 2007 @ 7:50 am
Hi there, it pains me that someone has to go through this. As a member of the Maronite community in Lebanon, I feel it painful to see communities such as yours silenced because of the common protocol. What a beautiful synagogue it is, Maghen Avraham. I wish it would be restored to the beauty that it once was, in line with the reconstruction program that all other religious buildings received after the war. It is a lie to allow this place to wither away into oblivion while others prosper for the wrong meaning.
Battal Agha Said,
July 5, 2007 @ 2:12 pm
I really do not understand the issues you are raising in your article. The problem is not STAY or LEAVE, ACKNOWLEDGE or DENY your jewish origin. The main PROBLEM is the mentality that exists nowadays that amalgamate the JEW with ISRAEL. The PROBLEM is if people know you are jewish, they want or better say, they demand that you become ANTI-ISRAEL as a sine-qua-non condition for accepting you. THis is the root of the problem. And because of this, I really feel sorry for what happens in our country. A country that was the light in the Middle-Eastern darkness.
tigermarks Said,
July 5, 2007 @ 6:20 pm
Battal. I sympathize with what you said. However, let’s not forget that all Lebanese are required to show strong anti-Israeli feeling. This is not positive, but we cannot forget what Israel has meant for Lebanon and all Lebanese in general. I do very much hope that one day, especially when we have peace with Israel that is “fair and just” for all sides, that this will no longer be the case, and that we can all accept each other regardless. Meanwhile, Jewish or non-Jewish, its very hard for a Lebanese to be seen having pro-Israeli views.
Hussein Said,
July 5, 2007 @ 7:52 pm
Battal Agha… Never forget that we are a country who is IN WAR with “Israel”… but i still think that it is bad to link the Jews with “Israel”.. but this is Israel’s fault for messing the jews’ image!!!
Christine Thomassian Said,
July 6, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
Who has the key for the main gate’s lock I wonder? Can we take the initiative and break into the synagogue and have it at least removed from the bad herbs that have now blocked the view of the main facade? Let’s meet someday there.
S. Said,
July 6, 2007 @ 9:56 pm
Hey there…
It’s been a while since i visited here..It always feel so warm.
Do you know that you are actually what I hope one day all Lebanese will be ? In love with this country, its soil, conscious of how blessed we are, and how stupid we were to get to this point, where one religion wants to take over another.
I am a lebanese Catholic and if there is something in my power someday to help restore what we once had, I would. Until then, legends of wadi abou jmil and streets busy with people never minding who prays for what…We can always dream.
As for what other people said earlier, about Israel or whatever, … I don’t even know why they spoke of it since all tou speak of is Lebanon. But nevermind, we can never have people understand what we feel. No hatred, no revenge. Just conscience of who we are and what treasure Lebanon is.
I would really be happy if you would write to me, if you feel like it.
Be safe.
Sandrine
Hassan Said,
July 8, 2007 @ 5:46 pm
Nice article man and I got a couple of comments about the comments: P
Another thing is about Christine’s comment, well it’s a great idea, and I believe that cleaning the weed from the synagogue’s yard is a very important sign, but I believe we should stick to the law; we don’t want to be misunderstood now, do we? Concerning the anti-Israel feeling, well I believe if the Jewish community currently residing in Lebanon were truly empathizing with Israel, they wouldn’t even be here!
First of all, Hussein, I know you mean well man, but we got to start to learn the differences between Jewish people, and Israel. These people stayed in Lebanon because they believe in Lebanon. Check out this site man, it shows my point well http://thejewsoflebanon.org
Let’s not all forget that the Lebanese constitution protects the Lebanese people’s right to worship whoever they want, and being in a synagogue on Saturday is your only your right, and so is having a synagogue in the first place. Trust me on this one guys, we should all stop identifying ourselves by what we believe in rather than what we actually are, I mean I am a Sunni Muslim.. heck I did that again, well, no one said I didn’t need to learn how to stop doing that
sammy khalife Said,
July 11, 2007 @ 2:12 am
It is so sad that a whole community became invisible just because of its religious background. I think we should all show support to our lebanese jewish community and start talking about this problem openly, starting with the prime minister and the other NGO. Why not having a community center where jewish and jewish friendly can meet, show support and acceptance to the jewish of lebanon. All inter-religious conflicts in Lebanon were a shame to our history, but the elimination of a whole community silently was the worse. History will not forgive us!
Mazen Said,
July 11, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
How joyful I am today to hear the rising voice of men and women.Long ago, where i was a very young boy, i started my search for the lebanese jews. I tried to find every link i could, from old synagogues, to family names that sounded of hebrew origin. Am Lebanese, from Tripoli, and ive been living in paris for six years now. I remember my grandma’ telling me stories about her jewish neighbours and unlike what the whole west wants to think, they were very pleasent stories. She told me how much she loved her neighbour “Oum Josef” and how she was very sad when the latter died and her sons and daughters fled the country. My grandma died 7 years ago, and with her a generation of men and women who had the opportunity to live in an even richer and more diversified Lebanon.
To my eyes, Jews are a part of Lebanon’s history and if my sources are right, kabbalah was practiced commonly amongst Lebanon’s jews. Something to be approached to muslim sufism and christian ascetism. I wish an official call would be made for all the jews of Lebanon to come back to Lebanon, be part of its future as they were part of its past. Beyond any political or religious chauvinism, our country should be a place of dialogue, of creation, of synthesis between all these spiritual and historical backgrounds.And I have no doubt that the jews of Lebanon are as attached to justice, freedom and peace as anyone of us.
Peace be upon all of us.
I hope you would contact me soon to see how i could help you or even meet u eventually if it’s possible.
Hussein Said,
July 19, 2007 @ 11:31 pm
עלינו הידעת שהמצב קשה מאד לכל העדות בלבנון
הסיטואציה רגישה והיא דומה לכל הלבנונים
לא יכולים לומר שהיהודים הם היחידים ועלינו לא רק החזיר העדה היהודית, אך עלינו לפתח מוחות האנשים לכל האחים הלבנונים מעדות אחרות… -ך
Sandrine Said,
July 22, 2007 @ 1:41 am
Dear Sammy,
A comment about your comment :
the Jewish community in Lebanon was never eliminated. Check your sources.
The lebanese jewish community was the only one to keep growing in the Arab world after the creation of the state of Israel. Jews of Lebanon actually fled, not after the creation of Israel, but started leaving or becoming discrete when the palestinians got there, and especially after the Israeli invasion in 1982 (Beirut’s synagogue was bombarded by the Israelis, btw)
So I do not feel ashamed of anything. We all suffered the war and being a jew in the arab world was pretty difficult even if they were not attached to Israel. Now, we must definitely work on helping lebanese people come out in the open : why be ashamed of being the ones who never left, when they could have gone to Israel. They should be cherished and helped back socially just like they deserve. But not everytime a sad thing happens in the history of the country, do we need to hear the words “we must be ashamed”. Hell, no. Everyone in the whole wide world should be ashamed, except the lebanese. The “international community”, foreign powers and dirty politicians took us down this road.
sammy khalife Said,
August 3, 2007 @ 4:24 am
Dear Sandrine
Thank you for your comment. I wonder how you do not really consider the lebanese jewish community as being eliminated when the number of jewish people in lebanon dropped from 15000 to not even few hundreds (living in the closet) in one century?!! I did not say that they fled the country when Israel was created, and that is the shame per se, because we, all the lebanese, were unable to protect each other from foreigners and from fanatic groups, like the ones who kidnapped lebanese jewish persons and killed them in 1985, to oblige the last very few of them to flee the country. We were (and still are) blind to let “The “international community”, foreign powers and dirty politicians took us down this road” and the worse is that many of us are not ashamed.
Jalloul Muhammad Rashid Said,
August 10, 2007 @ 7:21 pm
The day before yesterday, I passed by the Maghen Abraham Synagogue. I think it would be exquisite if it was just rebuilt. It ought to be rebuilt for it is not only a synagogue; it is also a historical monument which resembles one of the most ancient religious sects in Lebanon. But this can never happen if the Lebanese Jews outside Lebanon did’nt come back.
Sandrinou Said,
August 10, 2007 @ 7:24 pm
Dear Sammy,
read slowly and carefully : “the ones who kidnapped lebanese jewish persons and killed them in 1985, to oblige the last very few of them to flee the country”. Quoting you.
What I meant is, they fled because of the context, not because Lebanese people attacked them or drove them away, like other arab countries. That’s what I meant by the fact that WE, as lebanese, did not eliminate them. Yes, they were attacked- but are we sure by Lebanese ? And if they were - as you said, that “drove away” the very few that stayed, because most of them had already fled the country.
All the articles I have read here so far say that they were not ELIMINATED - it was the war, small community, scared because of the context (palestinians, hatred for Israel, confusion with jews)
So NO, dear friend, I am not ashamed. I am sad, and there is a huge difference. I blame fascism, war and politicians. But I do not blame the common people, which are the ones that can be relied upon for this project to work, and who did nothing to hurt lebanese jews or to feel shame about.
Now, I’ve had my share of the war and I do not feel shame. If you do, then you’ve got plenty of empty room in your life.
I have hope and determination that take the place. So go feel ashamed alone, and let realistic people, work and talk about this project in a positive way, to attract as many as we can and not to drive them away by assigning blame.
Cheers.
Jalloul Muhammad Rashid Said,
August 11, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
Dear Sammy and Sandrine,
I agree with you Sandrine when you said that the kidnapping of some Jews in the year 1985 was’nt the main cause for the Jews’ escape. However, both of us can’t deny that it was’nt an indirect cause.
It is true that during the formation of the state of Israel, Arab Jews from other Arabic countries came to Lebanon. Hence, this does’nt make the Lebanese people responsible for the Jews’ escape. In other words, the Lebanese Jews were’nt eliminated.
Speaking of being ashamed or not. I agree with both of you on one bit. We musn’t live with guilt for we did’nt eliminate the Jews. Nevertheless, I think that we ought to be ashamed of ourselves because we are the one who chose those dirty polititians Sandrine was talking about. We chose them during the civil war, and we chose them again despite the loss they brought to Lebanon. We, Lebanese people never learn from our mistakes. It is a pity that we are superbly educated and do not know how to benifit from this education. It is true that in this world no one is completely perfect. We are a perfect example which justifies this verity. We are civlized, we speak in many tongues, we are sophisticated; nevertheless, when it comes to politics, we are nothing but herds of sheep which blindly follow their dogs which are controled by the shepherds. And in this case, the dogs resemble the politicians and the shepherds resemble the foreign countries which control the internal politics in Lebanon… May God enlighten us to this bitter reality so we can wake up from our coma; and by this we will be able to rebuild Lebanon “The Message”…
Shirley Barker (SA Lebanese) Said,
August 16, 2007 @ 9:21 am
i am a South African Lebanese, and ashamed to say that i dont follow all the conflicts between the Lebanese and Jewish people. I have been reading the comments of the people who live there and not having the right really to say anything, i am in agreement with the Lebanese who say that Jewish Lebanese should be allowed to live freely, pray freely and feel free to proclaim their Jewishness. I live in this country which has changed for the better, it has become democratic since 1994, when Nelson Mandela was released with all the other “so called political prisoners”, and although we have a huge crime problem, we are all free to live and not be ashamed of who we are.
I am so glad to have found this site and i wish the Jewish Lebanese luck and i hope the Lebanese people will be open - minded and caring and supportive of other people around them, despite the hardship the Lebanon and its people have gone thru with the conflicts. I have not lived in the situation that you are in, so obviously i do not know exactly how you feel, thank God i have always lived in a peaceful country, but the way that the majority, (our black brothers and sisters) have suffered because of apartheid, is a tiny example of what the Jewish Lebanese must be feeling. I pray the Lebanese people - and it seems most agree, after reading the e.mails - start making the Jewish Lebanese feel welcome in the country they have lived in all their lives and not have to hide away and be scared to admit their Jewishness and they should be allowed to love and enjoy a beautiful country.
Khaled Said,
October 25, 2007 @ 10:56 pm
I just wanted to say that I knew very little about the Jewish Lebanese until I came across this site, and just wanted to say thank you for your great article.
I was born in Africa, and Lebanon to me has always been a mythical place which seemed to belong to everyone and no one. I think your plight is all our plights, those of us who long to belong and who long to live in peace.
I was very priviliged to grow up learning about other cultures and religions and my parents, both shi’a muslims from the South of Lebanon, always spoke positively of all religious groups, jews included. There was never any doubt in my mind that there has to be a differentiation between jews and Israeli policy; this I have had confirmed by so many of my jewish friends over the years.
Where I grew up in Africa, we were not allowed to become naturalised by law as we are not of African origin. I have always felt torn and always longed for somewhere stable to call home; Lebanon was never a viable option for my parents. Sadly, Liberia, where I was born, soon also became torn in a horrendous civil war which lasted from 1990 until just 3 years ago.
From this experience, and being lucky enough to have been far from it all, all I can see is insanity. If we could see more of what we all have in common, maybe there would be less wars. I guess it must be something which is ingrained into humanity for some unknown reason, whether we call it petty or not.
I live in London and continue to watch, as I always have done, what is going on in the Middle East; I hope that we can all go back to real peace some day, though sadly, there are many times when I don’t believe this will happen in my life time. This doesn’t stop me from hoping and praying though!
Thank you for this site, it has been a real mind opener.